Don't blink!

If you listen to country music, you are familiar with the Kenny Chesney song "Don't Blink". Here are some of the lyrics for those who do not listen to it:

Don't blink
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don't blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink

I was glued to my tv when it looked like he looked at me and said
"Best start putting first things first."
Cause when your hourglass runs out of sand
You can't flip it over and start again
Take every breathe God gives you for what it's worth.


Now, I am not a religious person at all. However, I can relate to feeling like your entire life is passing by in the blink of an eye. I am about to be twenty-four years old and some days I feel like I am forty. Having children has put a lot of strain on my body and I pop in places that I didn't even know I had places! My son just turned two and it feels like yesterday that Brian and I were sitting in the hospital room having just found out that I was pregnant. Our lives changed in an instant and now, it is flying by.


When I posted earlier today the activities to do here in Maine, Brian and I had every intention of taking Kael out to enjoy this perfect weather that we are having. Plans changed for us when Kael awoke from his nap in "Toddler-Mode" as I like to call it. This is the crazy, unfathomable, incomprehensible whiny-crying-babbling-clingy mode of behavior in which a child is absolutely un-soothable (if that's a damn word!) and you are ready to start crying also because you cannot find a solution to their "problem". So, you chock it up to a bad dream, Maybe??


IDEA! Let's hop in the car and go to the playground. Yeeeeeeeeah. The playground is always fun, right Kael? He looks at you like you are mentally ill and just starts crying all over again... Okay, new approach. Kael! Wanna go outside? "Okay...." OH! Thank you!!!!! He Agreed!!! So we round him up and put him in the car to head to the playground with Buzz Lightyear in hand. Success! We get to the playground and after maybe 15-20 minutes, he starts the whining again. Gun?? Anyone got a gun??! 


NEW IDEA! He may be hungry. Are you hungry Buddy? He signs yes, he is hungry. We go to McDonald's. Two french fries and a refusal of orange juice later, he's all done and crying again. We ask if he wants to go see Nona and Papa. YES! He agrees but starts whining when we get there. After a while, he warms up to it and (finally) is in a better mood. My point is, after all of that whining and fighting us on the activity that we were doing, he ended up happy.  THAT is what being a parent is all about. Trial and error. You are going to mess up more times than you can count on every finger and toe that you have. Just remember that it's not always about being happy. It's about being happy together. If you can keep that in mind, you'll always be happy.


Today I received a comment from a reader that really made me think about the journey that we are all on. She told me about her children and that she enjoys reading my blog because it's all part of what makes this Momma ride that we're on worth while and memorable. (She didn't say it like that.... I'm just sayin'.....) She is so very right. The memories that we make now are the ones that we will be talking about in twenty-five or forty years with our kids and grandkids about. (I'm about to protect the guilty here, so names are changed!) Like, "Mom, remember the time that Aaron was looking for batteries and came out of your room with a bright pink vibrator, asking if he could have the batteries that were in it?!" or "Hey Mom, remember when we went to the Knoxville Zoo and I got to ride an elephant?" or "Hey Mom! Remember when we went on that picnic by the river and fed the ducks, then got ice cream?". Those memories are important and funny and embarrassing, those are the BEST memories to have. 


That reminds me. Kids pick up the most inappropriate things and bring them to you because they want to play with/watch/read them. Examples:


1) Kael LOVES to play with our mini Kama Sutra book. If he gets his hands on it, he's flipping through the pages like a fourteen year old with a Hustler magazine. I am sure that he doesn't really get it, but my goodness is he interested in that book! I've had him grab it and bring it to me to read to him. So, I put it up on a high shelf in our room. (Side note-- let me clarify that I don't have 'pornography' sitting out for the kiddies, it's just that to get into Kael's room you have to walk through our room and well, sometimes things get left out!)


2) Vibrators. (Again, protecting the guilty here!) Kids 10 and under probably have no idea (or shouldn't) what a shapeless vibrator looks like. I am talking about the ones that are smooth and merely for a quick fix solution to a very loooooonely problem. I know someone who had one of these (a pink one) and her son was 7-8, looking for batteries. She told him she had some in her bureau in her room. Well, he went to the wrong drawer and well... he came out with the thing on saying, "Mom! Can I have the batteries out of this....thing?". She had company and we all started laughing because the kid just had no idea what it was for and hey- that's just fricken funny! So the kid starts waving it around like it's a light saber because we're all laughing and my friend was mortified about what had just happened. Whatever, it's such a FUN memory! Kids do the funniest things!


3) Movies. Today Kael wanted to watch Cheech and Chong's 'Up in Smoke'. While this is actually a favorite of mine, because of the ridiculous things that they do (this one and the Corsican Brothers!) it's SO not two year-old appropriate. It was Dora instead for this little movie-goer!


4) Brian's Maxim magazine issues. When Kael was about one, maybe a little older, he was carrying around a Maxim issue saying "wow". Haha. I guess that boobies are attractive at any age!


5) Nudity. Kids love to be naked and my son is not immune to this urge. Once while picking out a movie in Wal*Mart, Brian and I had turned for a second (that's all it takes) and Kael had removed his oversized shorts. When I tried to get him to put his clothing back on, he took off running while his sagging diaper drooped to the floor. The other store patrons watched in amusement as I chased a naked kid down the isle. This is actually a favorite memory of mine. :]


I am not a perfect parent. Sometimes I look at other parents and think "How can they be so fucking patient all of the time?". Sometimes it takes everything I have to remain calm and not FREAK OUT and start screaming when Kael is throwing a fit in public, whining to no end or when he craps all over the place. I am fortunate to have my husband. He and I don't always see eye to eye. We don't see eye to eye at all most of the time. We are two totally different people with different parenting styles and to be honest, most of the time I am annoyed that Kael prefers him over me. I'm like "What the fuck, Kid? I was the one who took care of you while Daddy was gone, got you on a schedule, stayed up a bazillion hours a night trying to get you to stay in your own bed and listened to you crying because I knew that in five minutes you'd be back to sleep and it would be worth it for both of us". But I forget that while I was struggling with being a single parent, Daddy was with people he didn't know, in a place that he'd never been and being made to do things that he didn't want to do. I forget that because my life wasn't so bad. I'm not reducing anything that I did on my own, I do deserve credit for making it as a single parent! I do... but I need to give Daddy the credit for being a good parent now. Good job Honey, I love you and you mean a lot to me. I am so glad that we are on this journey together, that we have made the hard choices and that we're taking the road less traveled. Here's to four years, two babes and a lifetime of memories ahead of us!


Happy Reading everyone.