M.M.M.I. (Mama Making Monsters Incorporated)

I swear I am going to have this child tonight. All day he has been pushing down on my cervix and it feels as though a foot is going to burst from the womb and into my vagina at any moment now! I had an ultrasound today and the technician says that according to his measurements, he weighs approximately 4.5lbs already. That means that if he grows at the 'normal' rate of a half pound a week until the end of my pregnancy, he will weigh at least 9 pounds. I don't make babies. Apparently I make moose. Please, someone shoot me now. Ha! And my plan is to try for a vaginal birth if I have to switch hospitals?! Bye, bye youthful vaginal elasticity! See ya later vulva, you'll most likely suffer from this, too! Somehow the image of a cowboy from the old west hopping off of his horse after riding all day comes to mind... (or like the carrots to the right)

I just want to say something about white trash parents. Or, white trash people in general. They are the reason that I would encourage sterilization if I were a doctor or DHHS case manager. Today I sat at DHHS for an hour and a half, waiting to report income changes like a good little doggie and watched at least four different parents come in with dirty--check that--filthy-- children. WHY is it so difficult to give your child a bath at least every other day? These kids were in nasty clothes, their hair was greasy and matted to their heads, they had dirt lines under their necks and their fingernails were broken with dirt under them. I felt horrible for them. My heart ached to take them home to my house, bathe and feed and clothe them and to never let the bitch that brought them in have them back!! There was this one little girl who was simply adorable. She was asian (her mom was very white!) and had what would have been the prettiest straight black hair, had it been clean. She was wearing a princess nightgown in the middle of the day and she had flip flops on. This little girl only wanted her mother's attention and was trying to hug her, give her kisses and play with her but the mother kept telling her to stop and "don't touch me!". I LOVE it when Kael wants to hug and kiss me. it makes me sick. Those fuckers have everything paid for by the State of Maine and don't even take care of the kids that they have but then continue to have them. YOU DON'T DESERVE  THE LOVE OF THAT LOVING CHILD YOU STUPID WOMAN! There are so many people out there who just want to conceive and can't, no matter what they try but white trash slut-bags like that can pop 'em out like Pez. It pisses me off! There, I am done ranting about that--for now.

Anyone want to give me a pedicure? I would sure appreciate that. Or actually, a total spa treatment would be great. As I apologized to the ultrasound tech today-- nothing below the waist gets much attention these days aside from a wash. If I can't see it, it's not that important anymore- Haha! Poor Brian is probably thinking..."Is this the same woman? I'm pretty sure it used to be closer to a ski slope than a jungle..."
Oh, the poor men that read this blog! I'd say that I am sorry but really, I am not. You'll have to get over it. After all, you clicked 'continue' on the adult content page, Bitch.

Whoa, hormones make me flighty. I think I am going to stop writing for today. Keep checking back to see if I have posted anymore and don't forget about the Facebook Fan Page!! I usually leave updates on there also!